Be the Kind of Woman

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Couches, Coffee Shops and Cozy Corners: Spaces and Places Where Intentionally Thrives

When I was in college I had a spot in the Zeta house. It was a couch nestled in the corner of the formal living room on the first floor. My friends always knew that if I was around I was there. Once I moved into the Zeta house sophomore year the corner was officially dubbed “Kaitlyn’s Office” by my sorority sisters.

Here is my “office” in all it’s glory. It is much cleaner here than it normally was (oops😅)

This comfy couch was where I did my homework, tried to solve the world’s problems (lol), and had some of the sweetest conversations with my classmates, sorority sisters, and dear friends. Those couch cushions saw it all; pep talks, tears, angry words, and roaring laughter, pretty much everything you could imagine. Let me tell you, this little corner will forever hold such a special place in my heart.

My friends always knew that when they visited my “office,” they were greeted with a big hug, warm smile, and listening ear. It could be 9 am or 11 pm. They knew that the moments we spent there together were sacred. Whether they were there to share the newest exciting news, needed a shoulder to cry on, or just wanted to kill some time between classes, this cozy corner was a safe place for them to exist.

But the safe spaces were not limited to Zeta couches. Anyone that has visited a Sonic knows that it’s just good for the soul. But, when I would get the chance to jump in the car with my friends and sit in my favorite stall (#9 in case you were wondering), we knew that we were free to talk about all the things swirling around our heads and that laid on our hearts. Just like those couch cushions, Lizzy the Lexus saw it all.

And let’s not forget the best coffee shop in all of Stillwater, America. Aspen coffee was our go-to spot for study dates, life chats, and caffeine pick-me-ups. Having the chance to sit and knock knees with my people has always been one of my favorite gifts from the Lord. And oh man, if the walls at Aspen could talk, the stories they would tell.

But here’s the things, what made these places and spaces so special had nothing to do with where they’re located. These couches, coffee shops, and cozy corners were just the vessel for something much more important: Intentionally.

Let me preface with this. I am absolutely NOT the perfect friend; I’m actually very, very far from it. I’ve said the wrong things and hurt people, and learning from those bumps and bruises, I have figured out that what most people don’t need is our advice. At the core of us all, there is something that, above all else, just wants to be heard.

For a very long time, I was a bad listener. I often joke that my forehead says, “Tell me everything.” And because of this, I have found myself on the receiving end of more stories than I can remember and some personal information I wish I could forget. And early on, I thought that people came to me because I was this wise person that people sought advice from (lol again). But over time, I realized two major things. The Lord has given me the incredible gift of hospitality, the heart to comfort others around me but, I wasn’t doing a great job of stewarding His gift.

We all have such unique and important talents that the Lord gifts us with. And what a blessing it is for me to extend my gift of Hospitality to others. But, something I had to learn was that just because we receive gifts doesn’t mean that we wield them properly.

I have found that as human beings, we do not listen very well. My dad often quotes statistics from various listening studies that say we listen on average about 30%—yeah, thirty percent—of the time. Yikes. I’ll be the first to admit listening is not innate for me. But, when I lean into listening to hear instead of listening to respond, the Spirit opens the floodgates and allows love to overflow.

When I listen intentionally, I tap deeper into my gift that the Lord uses to move the Kingdom forward. When I move aside and lean into the Spirit intentionally, doors open, hearts are moved, and Jesus gets the glory. Intentionality is the key that unlocks the door for me to wield my gifts better and more clearly on His behalf.

For me, those couches, coffee shops, cozy corners, dinner tables, doorsteps, porches, and perches were the battlefields where I fought for the people I love. These places and spaces are where God gets to come alive in my life and the lives of others because of how He created me to serve and love the people in my life with Hospitality. And when I learned to intentionally set myself aside, how much more glory does He get for what followed?

Every single one of us has gifts. They are stored inside of us, along with God’s hope we use them for His good and glory.

How cool is that??

Where He sends us, He equips us. He has put you where you are on purpose and for a purpose. My greatest hope is that you lean in and make way for Him to work in your life and those around you. I pray that you intentionally wield your gifts, talents, skills, and abilities to move the Kingdom forward one day at a time.

Lord, what a blessing it is that you, the Creator of Heaven and earth, the Overseer of all time and space, picked us. You selected unique gifts for each of us to use for your glory, other’s benefit, and our joy. Spirit, I ask that you lead us to the places and spaces where each of our gifts get to thrive and that when the time comes, we use them intentionally. Jesus, thank you for the overwhelming grace that stands in between our callings and shortfalls. Thank you for the mercy that overflows when we don’t wield our gifts well. I pray each day, we listen better, love deeper, and lean closer into who you created us to be.

In Your Son’s Name. Amen

All my love,

Kaitlyn